A few days ago my mom did something unexpected. Saturday my mom and I took my little brother to altar severing training/party. While sitting in the back waiting for the training to finish my mom tapped me on my arm and asked me if I had known she had two miscarriages. I knew she had a miscarriage but not two. So, in reality I am my mother's fourth child not her second.
To me this question came from nowhere and I asked why she was asking me. She told me that the other day she was talking to someone and the other person asked how many children she had, without thinking she said five. I have two sibling that I never met who would be older than me if they had been born alive. I wonder what my life would have been like with two more siblings in my life. I would not be the middle child but one of the younger kids. I might have had a different outlook on life and my faith. I wonder if my life would have been as it is now or slightly different. I simply do not know.
It must have been terrible for my mom to have lost two children -- she was so upset that she did not name them. When she told me this two names popped into my head -- Benedict and Rebekka, two names I really like. I told my mom the names and she smiled at me and asked what would I do if I married and wanted to give those names to my own kids. Without thinking I said that my kids would be named after the brother and sister I never met. My mom smiled and went back to her book.
This is a conversation I never expected to have with my mom. It is so strange that my mom even broached upon the subject.
Well, here's to the siblings that I never met and I hope that they are in Heaven smiling down on me and my family.
God Bless everyone.
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